Bemused By Beleaguering
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Adult onset rapid cycling Bipolar II, PTSD, Agoraphobic, Social anxiety disorder...triggered by a Trauma in 2010. I am also estranged from my immediate family. Complete Dog-Nerd.- Bemuse: To cause to be bewildered, preoccupied, confused. So lost in thought as to be unaware of one's surroundings.
- Beleaguer: To exhaust with attacks, to overburden with troubles, to mentally beset from all sides persistently
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Tag Archives: Manic Depression
Seeing diagnosis in writing
I finally got the call to go pick up the shrinks sections of my disability forms. His wife/partner was quite proud of how detailed he was in filling out the forms ( THANK GAWD). Hopefully in addition to my novel … Continue reading
Posted in Bemused Blog
Tagged Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Bipolar, Bipolar II, Buspirone, Depression, Manic Depression, Mental Health, Psychiatrist, PTSD
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Buspirone Day 1
My anxiety the last 8+ mths has been the worst ever 😦 Shrink gave me Abilify to start way back in Fall because it has been beneficial to me in the past but the problem for me is that even … Continue reading
Posted in Bemused Blog
Tagged Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Bipolar II, Buspirone, Depression, Irritability, Manic Depression, Mental Health, PTSD
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I hate winter :(
Far too much crap going on with me I don’t even know where to start. Â I have been able to struggle through without meds even though we made a back-up plan for me to start Abilify again any time I … Continue reading
Posted in Bemused Blog
Tagged Abilify, Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Bipolar II, Depression, Distressed, Manic Depression, Social anxiety disorder
3 Comments
My melt down over seeing Ex ugh!
My Friday didn’t go that well aside from my canine buddy showing up in the evening. My ex from 5 years ago who caused the trauma ( 2 massive explosions) which triggered my mental illnesses was in the same store … Continue reading
Posted in Bemused Blog
Tagged Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Bipolar II, Manic Depression, Meddlers, Mental Abuse
11 Comments
I didn’t chicken out
I did start the 250mg of lamotrigine this morning 🙂 Yaaay me! The first words out of my mouth this morning at 5:45 am and after listening to crashing around for half hour before that were…..  “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? … Continue reading
Posted in Bemused Blog
Tagged Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Bipolar II, Irritability, Lamotrigine, Manic Depression
11 Comments
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
I have one more dose of Lamotrigine at 200mg tomorrow and then IF I feel like I have had improvement over the last 2 weeks I can stay at 200mg. If I feel I have not had improvement I can … Continue reading
Posted in Bemused Blog
Tagged Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Bipolar II, Depression, Exercise, Insomnia, Lamotrigine, Manic Depression, Mental Health
3 Comments
A weekend full of squinting
This weekend has been one big fuck around for me. Â A 4-night boarding gig was cancelled on Friday ( the DAY-OF arrival). I need to start making people pay WHEN they book with me not after the fact. Piss me … Continue reading
Posted in Bemused Blog
Tagged Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Bipolar II, Dogs, Irritability, Manic Depression, Panic Attacks
4 Comments
Jan 14/2015 Shrink Apt
As suspected he raised my Lamotrigine up to 200mg for 2 weeks. If I see improvement to any great extent I am to stay at that dose for now. If I do not see any significant improvement I am to … Continue reading
Posted in Bemused Blog
Tagged Bipolar II, Depression, Lamotrigine, Manic Depression, Mental Health
3 Comments
You, Me and my Shrink
Are the only people who know I have been diagnosed Bipolar II. Â I don’t talk about it to my friends at all. I have only 1 friend that knows I even take meds but she does not know what … Continue reading
Posted in Bemused Blog
Tagged Bipolar, Bipolar II, Depression, Manic Depression, Mental Health
4 Comments